Daddy Cat Memorial FIV Site

Update: There is now a vaccine for -some- strains of FIV, but it has drawbacks. It only protects against 2 of the 5 strains of the disease, and a vaccinated cat will test "positive" for FIV, even though they have only received the vaccine - and if your cat is found by animal control and tested, it may be put to death because of this. See FIV Vaccine for more details.

This beautiful, loving sweetheart of a cat was tragically taken from our lives on June 21, 1997, a victim of FIV (Feline Immunodeficiency Virus), commonly called Feline AIDS. This horrible, disgusting killer, just as destructive as its relative, Human HIV, is responsible for the deaths of thousands of precious cats each year.

I normally keep cats indoors at all times, but this little fellow had an unusual history with us. He was part of a larger family that was abandoned by a neighbor when they moved. Along with some other neighbors, we fed the family so they wouldn't starve to death. He was the father of the brood, so we called him 'Daddy Cat', a term that was meant to be temporary, but stuck and seemed to fit him. Over time we found homes for the mom cat and all of the offspring except for two, one a very cute black and white guy we adopted and brought in the house, and a very, very shy white cat that refused all human contact (we fed him until 1998 when he seems to have passed away).

Our relationship with Daddy Cat evolved slowly. At first we just fed him. He was somewhat friendly but a little aloof, and seemed to value his freedom. After a few months we got him neutered, and this made him much friendlier and less aggressive to us and other cats. Still, he seemed to really enjoy being outdoors, and we weren't that attached to him yet. A little later we began to let him in for short visits occasionally.

About a year ago he received a nasty neck bite from some outdoor cat. We took him to the vet and got some antibiotics. He was routinely screened for FIV at this point, but tested negative. IMPORTANT POINT HERE: If this happens to one of your cats, GET IT RETESTED AFTER 3 MONTHS!!! It takes awhile for the antibodies to show up in the bloodstream.

Over the next year we got closer and closer to Daddy Cat. Gradually he spent more and more time indoors and less outdoors. In January we went on vacation, and took our other two cats to my mom's. A neighbor checked on Daddy, who promptly fled the house the first day (we had said this was okay) and stayed outdoors the entire week. At the end of the week we had our only really cold snap of the year, and the poor fellow had a rough time. When we returned he was even sweeter than ever. Even though he outweighed our other 2 cats, he always deferred to them and backed off from any confrontations.

By about March of this year he lost any desire to go out. He became a full member of the family.

In mid June of 1997 I happened to look at him from the rear, and noticed his lower quarters seemed downright emaciated. We had noticed he had lost some weight earlier in the year (he had previously been overweight), but this didn't look good. I weighed him and found he had lost a third of his body weight in the last 4-5 months. Even though big-boned, he now weighed the same as our smaller cats.

We took him to the vet, not really worried. Our oldest cat had lost a few pounds years ago, and it was nothing. The vet called with the horrible news. Our poor little fellow was dying. And the other 2 cats might have been exposed. We got them tested immediately (negative), and then retested 3 months later (also negative), since there is always the possibility of a recent infection.

There are several options in this situation. You can nurse the cat along. If the FIV positive test comes from a routine exam, this may be the way to go, as the cat may be symptom free for months or even years. However, if you have other cats, you have to keep them strictly isolated. You will want to keep your FIV cat isolated anyway, so it is not exposed to the other cats' everyday germs. Eventually the cat will show symptoms, which can be any number of things, such as gum problems, cancers, skin problems, urinary infections, etc. If this is what caused you to get the cat tested, then it is further along in the disease. Most of the sources I have checked out indicate at this point your cat will probably pass away in a few months, although you may get lucky and get more time. Frequent vet visits and possible intensive care at home may be required. (Some people have had cats live for years, even after the onset of symptoms. See the more detailed life-expectancy write-up later on this page).

Because we have two other cats, and Daddy Cat had lost a lot of weight (and was sick from something else as well - he had been crying loudly and plaintively at night for weeks), we made the tough decision to go ahead and put him to sleep. We didn't know anyone who would take him, he was in pain, and the inevitable result was death anyway (probably pretty soon).

If you've never put an animal to sleep, it is as tough as you think it would be. We got him retested, which is always a good idea; false positives sometimes occur. It is best to have a second 'type' of retest administered. The vet allowed us a final hour to cuddle and play with him. They take the animal away to give it a tranquilizer. NOTE: If you have some final 'things to say' to your animal, now is the time. When he comes back to 'go to sleep', he will probably already be out of it. This is a powerful sedative which makes the animal more 'comatose' than asleep. It is still breathing and alive, but not conscious. The vet brought our little guy back for a final few minutes of cuddling, where he lay motionless on our laps (and looked like a precious little angel). Then she took him away to put him to a final, eternal, restful peace. We buried him in our backyard.

There are numerous lessons to be learned here for all cat owners. Keep all your cats INDOORS. Do not allow any of them to go out, even briefly. They may complain for a few weeks, but they will get used to it. A killer is on the loose, and only indoor cats can be protected. It also helps to get your cats neutered, which you should do anyway. This cuts down on fighting. FIV is spread almost exclusively by biting. The virus has to go from the infected cat's saliva to the other cat's blood. (Blood transfusions are another source, but of course much rarer.)

Also, don't take any of your cats for granted. We have had one cat for nine years (2006 update - she passed away at the age of 18 years), and I have thought of her as the 'primary' cat. The black and white cat was second on the hierarchy, and Daddy Cat seemed like a nice enough guy, but a cat I liked, not really loved. It took his tragic death to make me realize how much I adored this sweet little fellow. He was always there for you when you wanted to hug and cuddle him. You could pick him up and rub his stomach, and put him on your lap, and he would stay for hours.

All life on this planet is precious, especially pets. They are loving and uncritical and usually lack most of the failings of us human beings. Keep your cats indoors. If you bring a new cat into a multi-cat household, test it for FIV, then keep it separate from the other cats for 3 months, and have it retested.

Protect your pets, and appreciate them, and love them; all of them if you have multiple animals. Don't take any of them for granted or assign them to second-class status. Take LOTS of photos and videotape (I have precious few of either of Daddy Cat); as boring as they look now, you will treasure these things after your pet is gone.

Daddy Cat was a precious, sweet package of love. I will miss him a thousand times more than I thought possible.

More detailed info on FIV cats and life expectancy: Just like Human HIV and Aids, there is quite a bit of uncertainty about the life span that an FIV cat may expect. There have been cases where the virus seems to have no effect on the cat, and it lives for years symptom free until passing away from old age or something else. If the cat progresses into the symptom phase, it may get sick and even near death, then recover and live for years afterward. You just never know. Unfortunately the majority of FIV cats will only live for a couple of years, especially after symptoms begin to show up. As I said above, these decisions can be tough to make. I certainly do not want to discourage anyone from deciding to fight this instead of euthanize, especially if the cat is still free of symptoms. Just make sure the cat is kept indoors and isolated from all other cats.

In many other species of wild cats, the FIV virus is present in many or most of the animals, yet it causes no harm to the cats. This is believed to be the eventual progression of all 'IV' viruses. First the virus spreads and causes numerous fatalities; then a few individuals whose bodies can tolerate the virus survive and procreate, and eventually the entire species is unaffected. This natural progression takes thousands of years, however. It is now taking place in domestic cats and has just begun in humans.

E-mail bobby@mbsc.com for any comments. I would appreciate any input from cat owners who have suffered the same tragedy I have. Thanks for indulging me by reading this. Are there research foundations for FIV cures? I would like to contact them and mention them on this page if anyone knows of any. If there aren't, those of us who have been touched by this disease should establish one. Let me know your thoughts on this.

(2007 update: I received several hundred emails in the first few years after posting this. They have trickled off to essentially none at this point. I hope the incidence of this disease has diminished. The older surviving cat passed away of old age recently; she was 18. The tuxedo cat, son of Daddy Cat, lives with my ex-wife.)

Information on the importance of keeping your cat indoors

Excerpts from an email from judbe@pop.mindspring.com with very important info for anyone in the Buffalo, NY area:

Hi,

I just read your touching story about Daddy Cat and my heart goes out to you. I know how you feel since I've lost several cats to Fiv. My husband and I have a hospice for Fiv cats in the Buffalo, New York area. We have 6 here at the moment but I've had as many as 10 at one time. We take in the cats when people test and find them to be positive and don't want them. We treat them with Interferon, Immunoregulin and Ambrotose. We have one cat, Sidney, here 5 years now and Artie's been here for 4. Fiv is kind of rare in female cats but we have one, Jonsie, and she's been with us for 4 years. My major problem with the Fiv is mouth ulcers. We have their teeth cleaned twice a year to try to prevent problems. Once gum and mouth disease starts, it's very hard to treat....

Judy Beamish

I don't know Judy's specific policy on taking in new FIV cats in the Buffalo area, but you might try emailing her if you are in a desperate situation.

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